Confessions of a Homecoming Queen

Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. ~James 5:16 (NIV)

My mind jolted as I recognized the voice at the end of the phone. Wasn’t this a girl from college asking me, a former homecoming queen, to attend a celebration for an upcoming event? Years ago, I shunned her. Rumor had it that she had an abortion. Right then, conviction pierced my heart. In college, my Christianity resembled a Pharisee. I disdained people who said they were Christians, but didn’t show a strong faith. Then, I lacked compassion for anyone who made mistakes. People just needed to follow the rules. They should know better. Now, my heart stabbed in pain in remembrance of how I had judged her. This young girl had needed mercy and loving support. I sensed God wanted me to mend this broken relationship, so I accepted the invitation with a little anxiety knowing I needed to face her. I hung up the phone and got on my knees and prayed for an opportunity to speak with her.

During the weeks before the event, I reflected on how my rule-keeping separated me from loving others. I felt isolated from those I dismissed in judgment. My lack of love kept me from having a merciful heart towards those who needed grace. As a result, I wondered how many people I had hurt and the opportunities I missed in showing grace.

God’s kindness leads you toward repentance. ~Romans 2:4b (NIV)

Through failures as a pastor’s wife and missionary overseas, my superior attitude came tumbling down. With regret I had yelled in anger at my husband, I had ignored opportunities to share my faith, and I had judged teammates for how they handled certain situations. In time, God showed me through my failures, I couldn’t mend my broken messes with good works. I had blown it many times; how I needed His forgiveness. I came to acknowledge I was and am a sinner and no better than others.

Finally, at the homecoming soccer game my heart pounded as I spotted my friend sitting on a bench. Sliding in next to her, I confessed my judgmental attitude as a dutiful Christian and shared how God had shown me my
inability to be a perfect Christian and asked for forgiveness. My eyes filled with tears. This former classmate expressed she had felt hurt and judged by Christians when she desperately needed a friend. However, she forgave me. God brought healing to both of our hearts that homecoming day. Afterward, a sweet spirit of love and connection refreshed our relationship. My heart felt washed like a spiritual rain pouring over me. I’m grateful God doesn’t place a time limit on confession or forgiveness. Sometimes forgiveness takes time. Years may go by, but healing can take place anytime. Making a confession might take some humility, but the healing that follows is far worth the uncomfortable moments of a confession. Relying on Jesus’ work is the only way forgiveness is made possible.

By His wounds we are healed. ~Isaiah 53:5 (NIV)

Do you have a relationship that needs healing? How would you prepare your heart for confession?

Lord, You took my sin away by your death. Thank You for cleansing me and making a way for healing in my relationships. Prompt my spirit to whom I can offer forgiveness. Show me today whom I need to forgive. Amen.